Give Up Attachments to Selfishness and Harmonize the One Body to Save Sentient Beings (Part 2)
By Xin Qing, a Falun Dafa Practitioner in Jilin Province
(Clearwisdom.net) (Continued) Part 1: http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2006/11/18/80043.html Seeking Understanding from Others is an Omission in my Cultivation For a long time I had searched for the reason that prevented me from diligent
Fa-cultivation. I discovered it is this: I am always looking for other people's
understanding and forgiveness when conflicts and frustrations arise. When did I
come to this realization? I had begun initial coordinating work when the Chinese
Communist Party's (CCP) secret concentration camps were exposed and the
Coalition to Investigate the Persecution of Falun Gong (CIPFG) had just been
established. I gathered with fellow practitioners, and we shared our understandings. At
the conclusion of our discussion several veteran practitioners said, "Are
you attached to the work itself?" I was quite nervous, because I had never
considered such an attachment. One practitioner said, "You are relatively
young, but if your words and actions are based on the Fa, we will
all cooperate with you, and we will harmonize each other and fill in the gaps.
You need encouragement and gentle protection at the beginning, and you wouldn't
be able to take it if our criticism was too sharp." Her words made me feel that I should do better. Fellow practitioners'
compassion and tolerance motivated me to keep going forward, and I didn't feel
like I was working alone. Once we agreed to meet at 4:00 a.m., one practitioner
said it's too early, and I said we couldn't be late for Dafa work. I didn't
expect, however, that I would oversleep the next day and arrive at past 5:00
a.m., when other practitioners had almost finished the work. They said nothing
when they saw me and acted as if I wasn't late at all. I was deeply moved. Would
I be able to do the same for other practitioners if the roles were reversed? My
heart found solace in other practitioners' encouragement and tolerance during
the most difficult times, but I always felt I was seeking other people's
understanding from an ordinary person's perspective and I didn't abandon the
customary human mindset. As I came into contact with more practitioners, they sometimes shared their
problems with me, such as conflicts among practitioners and issues that arose
during coordination work with practitioners in another area. I didn't say
anything but thought, "You're coming to me for everything. Who am I going
to dump all my pressure, pain and attachments on?" My human notions surfaced, and I remembered my mother. I thought, "I'm
more 'miserable' than any one of you, and I'm not complaining at all!" I
knew then right away, though, that my mind reflected ordinary people's
mentalities. Precisely because of this notion I often rejected other
practitioners' "vehement" comments and criticism of me. I thought the
practitioner was not tolerant or compassionate, but I didn't calm down and think
about whether his comment was right. When I was criticized I keenly looked
inward, but if I was suddenly forgiven, then I immediately stopped looking
inward. I was hiding my human notions behind other people's kindness and
understanding. How could I improve this way? We should not be afraid of our human notions being pointed out, because what
is really being touched is the attachment behind it. Isn't it a human notion to
seek understanding from others? I found an omission in my cultivation. I
realized eventually that by coming to me with their problems other practitioners
were trusting me. I should face those so-called conflicts with them and improve
together. Why would we care about other practitioners' attitudes or tones of
voice? We should think about whether it's our own problem that's causing the
conflict and correct it if the answer is yes, because other practitioners have
good intentions. Why can't we accept criticism? Stubborn notions are
obstructions for us, but by looking inward we can slowly remove them. Giving Up the Self, Joining Hands and Rescuing Sentient Beings Rescuing sentient beings is currently an urgent task, but when Teacher puts
predestined people before us, how can we rescue them? When we constantly give up
the self, based on the Fa, give up notions that interfere with Dafa-validation
and with the rescue of sentient beings, we can rescue many more sentient beings!
This can also be accomplished by making it possible for more practitioners to
participate in experience sharing so all practitioners can walk their own paths
in their own environment. Doing so we can form an environment in which we
compare ourselves with each other in cultivation and Fa study, where we look
inward and practice cultivation solidly, where we work with each other and are
forbearing toward each other. When we work together to validate the Fa we often think of our own tasks,
that the task at hand is more important, and we overlook things that truly
matter. It's a reflection of our attachment to self. When this happens, we are
not thinking from the perspective of the whole body. I remember an incident
where a few practitioners in our area were surrounded by National Security (NS)
agents. My first thought when I heard the news was, "I must let more
practitioners know about it now! I must send forth righteous thoughts to negate
the evildoers' conspiracy to arrest Dafa practitioners!" After I had
notified other practitioners, several practitioners and I sent forth righteous
thoughts near the house where the practitioners were trapped. After a while I
remembered that I still had to format a truth clarification flyer to rescue
other practitioners, so I said to the assembled group, "You can send forth
righteous thoughts here. I have to go home and do something. It's the same to
send forth righteous thoughts from home." The practitioners looked at me and didn't say anything. I felt something was
wrong. I stood up several times and sat back down again, and suddenly it
occurred to me, "I'm too attached to myself." National Security Agents
have just arrested those practitioners. Sending forth righteous thoughts as soon
as possible and rescuing fellow practitioners is the responsibility of our whole
body. Why was I still attached to the work that needed to be done? I am not
saying we shouldn't do our own work, but it was the wrong time to do it, as we
need to sort out our priorities. My fixation on the work divided our whole body,
and yet the evil always targets our whole body when imposing so-called
"tests." After some practitioners had left our city I continued to do the same Dafa
things as before. One practitioner from another city said to me half-jokingly,
"Do you know if there will be anyone to hand out the flyers that you
make?" I was surprised to hear this and didn't understand him. He said,
"You guys [practitioners in this city] are acting quite chaotic. You work
individually and you don't communicate very well. You, for example, only make
truth clarification materials but you don't know what's happening outside." It was the first time I had ever heard anything like this. He told me the
importance of coordination. It is not that the coordinator is a great
practitioner, but the coordinator links together scattered Fa particles, so the
Fa power of our whole body can manifest. The coordination effect is invisible,
but it reminded me of the times when we had all done well. They were the times
we had coordinated well as a whole body. Inspired by the fellow practitioner, I
realized that I should have other practitioners shoulder the truth-clarification
production work, allowing more practitioners to participate so I could have more
time to contact other practitioners. I quickly found a practitioner to take over
part of my workload. In fact, if our thoughts are based on the Fa, Teacher will
help us as long as we have the will to do it, since cultivation is up to oneself
and gong is up to Teacher. It's probably a little harder to teach someone than to do it myself. It is
part of cultivation and not learning an ordinary person's skills. First, I share
my understandings with the practitioner from the perspective of the Fa, and then
I teach her, little by little, based on her abilities. I also constantly
encourage her and help her with righteous thoughts, otherwise she will feel it's
too hard and would want to "bail out." One thing I feel deeply about
is that we must think about [some] issues from the other person's perspective
and we cannot judge other practitioners with our own frame of mind. Once, when I
saw that she was under pressure when making truth clarification materials, I
said to her, "Don't worry! I'll share this responsibility with you until
you can completely handle it on your own!" She was visibly relieved. Later, Minghui website editors sent us sample stickers. All we had to do was
print them out and no longer had to send our own materials to the Minghui
website. One practitioner used the samples to make stickers to rescue the
arrested fellow practitioners, but the words were very crowded. I kindly
reminded her of this problem. Although the editors provided us with samples, we
still have to put our hearts and minds into it! Would ordinary people want to
read such small words? I was really touched by her later work however, as what
she had produced was much improved. I feel that Dafa practitioners are awakening
sentient beings with their compassion. The practitioners who make truth
clarification materials have continuously matured by cooperating with each
other. I taught other practitioners the projects I had handled for more than two
years, and I began to coordinate Dafa work. The effect of making truth
clarification materials is visible while the effect of coordination work is
invisible. I'm busy all day but I don't see any "fruit of my labor."
Instead I hear lots of comments, suggestions and criticism. Coordinating
requires that the coordinator constantly break through the "self" and
increase his endurance. I had previously spent most of my time in front of the
computer. The computer was not only my Fa implement but also my friend. I rarely
communicated with other practitioners, and many times I didn't know how to
cultivate myself. Practitioners who worked closely with me endured a great deal.
One practitioner said to me, "I was initially afraid to bring up an issue
with you, because your eyes would get big even before I had said anything."
I said, "It was that serious?" I knew that I had hurt other
practitioners because I had not practiced cultivation solidly. I could not
breeze through it with a simple apology. Righteous thoughts are not produced
from the mouth, and mistakes must be corrected in time. I dreaded working with others. When one practitioner left, she told other
practitioners not to work with me. I cried so hard when I heard it. Xinxing
tests and pressure from all sides helped me gain a better understanding of
Teacher's words: "Abundant troubles rain down together."
("Tempering the Will" in Hong Yin, English Translation
Version A) I wondered whether I could continue to practice cultivation. I never
complained about other practitioners and I only felt that I was doing very
poorly. But I also understand that the relationship between Dafa and an
individual practitioner resembles a furnace of molten steel melting a tiny speck
of sawdust. Dafa can certainly correct my shortcomings, like the melting of the
sawdust, as long as I do my best to overcome them. Some time later I met a practitioner from another city who exclaimed,
"Hey, this little girl is different from before!" I thought, "I
wouldn't be able to practice cultivation if I'm still the way I was
before!" My own experience tells me that I cannot judge other practitioners
with my notions. Our notions are tricking us and yet it's easy for us to
consider them a part of ourselves. As soon as the notions form and experiences
reinforce them, it is ever more difficult for us to recognize and judge matters
with our true, original thoughts. The change in my notion allowed me to gain a
brand new perspective on fellow practitioners' shortcomings. We are humans
practicing cultivation, and as long as we cultivate in Dafa, everything will
change. Understandings based on the Fa led more practitioners to work with me. I
didn't pay attention to a practitioner's past and only looked at whether our
current state is based on the Fa. If we were both in the state a cultivator
ought to be in and our minds were set in the Fa, we could then cooperate with
each other. Places where our methods were not mature were places where we needed
to work quietly for harmonization. I had never worked with one specific practitioner before, but I heard many
things about her from other practitioners. Gradually I formed notions about her
and thought, "So that's how she is." When I worked with her over the
course of nearly one year, I had forgotten the things others had said about her.
One day I suddenly remembered them and thought, "Wait a minute, she is not
like what others say!" This reminded me not to give too much credence to
others' comments about a certain practitioner. We should instead judge all
practitioners with the Fa, as our acquired notions could impair cooperation
among practitioners. When we point out fellow practitioners' shortcomings and they deny it, should
we just forget it? I learned a painful lesson on this issue. One practitioner who used to work with me didn't study the Fa or do the
exercises very much. When I reminded him, he made several excuses. I couldn't
refute him, so I grew numb and indifferent. This practitioner eventually died as
a result of the persecution. It makes me feel as if I bear the greatest
responsibility for his death because he was right next to me. I learned that we should not wait to rescue practitioners when they have been
persecuted, and we should instead kindly point out and help correct their
problems beforehand whenever we see them. If the practitioner refuses to accept
our comments, we must consider whether we are speaking with our own notions and
are not looking at the issue from the other practitioner's perspective. Others
can definitely feel it when we are truly thinking for their benefit. Why is it
then that sometimes our words cannot enter other practitioners' minds? Because
we are not thinking of what they need the most right now. They don't need
"high talk" or negative criticisms that tear them down, but instead
they need tolerance, encouragement and righteous thoughts from fellow
practitioners. We must also have the determination to tackle the tribulations
with them. Conflicts with other practitioners made me gradually realize these things.
When we truly think of others first and unconditionally look inward, conflicts
dissipate of their own accord. The practitioner who had started working with me earlier this year didn't
take Fa study or sending forth righteous thoughts seriously, but he seemed to be
very clear on Teacher's Fa principles. I wasn't sure what to do, but thought I
should have faith in fellow practitioners. Besides, my own actions and
cultivation status determine my safety. I must give up my ego. I quietly sent
forth righteous thoughts for this practitioner, to eliminate the evil elements
interfering with his Fa study. We asked him to join our Fa study group.
Nevertheless, we shouldn't let him feel that we were helping him. When I look
back, we weren't helping him, we were actually cultivating ourselves! One practitioner wanted to buy a large machine to print the Nine
Commentaries on the Communist Party, but I felt we should have
widespread home-based printing sites in our region. So I shared my opinions and
I also commented on issues in his Fa study and cultivation. He denied any
problem on his side. I was a little upset, "I'm saying it for your own
good. How can you treat me this way?" When I returned home, however, I
realized that it was my problem. Regardless of his attitude, he is well
intentioned. He wasn't thinking of himself, he was anxious that the Nine
Commentaries were not widely distributed in our local area! When I truly saw
things from his perspective he quickly accepted my comments, and I no longer
cared about the tribulation he created for me. I said to him sincerely later on, "If you ever need anything, I
absolutely will cooperate with you." He didn't buy any large machines. I
want to say it's not that other practitioners won't change or won't accept
criticism. The key is whether or not we have persistent compassion, whether we
are cultivating ourselves in the process, and whether we have the sincere
determination to face difficulties along with other practitioners. If we do,
then everything will change. Sometimes I do better because I have a clear understanding [of Fa
principles], but when my understanding is obscure, conflicts or unrighteous
states will last longer, which is when I'm required to make constant, diligent
progress in the Fa. My human notions were exposed through their reflection on other practitioners
who have worked with me over a long period of time. I treat every practitioner
with true compassion, especially those practitioners who live with me. Because
of this, I feel really hurt when someone doesn't trust me. When we first started
working together, another practitioner wrote a draft article, and I asked the
practitioner who worked with me to print it and send it out. The other
practitioner was quite skilled in terms of her grasp of technology and writing.
After I returned in the evening, however, she suddenly asked me, "Did you
write this article?" I didn't know what to say, because I didn't even know
the content of the article. She insisted that I had written it, because the
article mentioned a former coordinator and things that had happened in our area.
At first I thought she was joking, but I soon realized she was serious and
refused to listen to my explanations. I didn't realize that she was helping me
to improve my xinxing. I covered my head with a quilt that night and
cried. Similar conflicts had taken place in the past, when people would insist
on something that never happened, but I laugh when thinking back on it. When
that happened I was attached to the thought, "You should not treat me this
way!" Wasn't it strong jealousy? I deeply feel that jealousy directly
interferes with our cooperation and makes us cast aside sentient beings. I
looked at the other practitioner and thought about myself. We had joined each
other only to validate the Fa. I let bygones be bygones. I still knew that I
only gave it up on the surface, but I didn't yet see through the problem based
on Fa principles. Because my xinxing didn't truly improve, the same conflict returned
with full force. The local government was holding a brainwashing class. We were
busy searching out information and sharing understandings. I taught other
practitioners to sort information, and didn't go back to the materials site for
two days. When I went back, the other practitioner erupted and vented all of her
frustrations on me. I had reached my limit and felt I couldn't take it any
longer. It was particularly painful when she called me a "hypocrite."
I burst into tears. It was the first time in my life that anyone called me a
hypocrite. She also brought up our past grudges, and I felt deeply wounded. I
thought I had already given up things in the past, but my heart still ached when
she mentioned them. What I remember most clearly was her saying, "Don't try
to block everything out by crying." I left the living place in the middle of the night and I didn't know where to
go in the darkness. I returned two hours later because I didn't want her to
worry about me. I quietly listened to her the next day and said I had not done
well, but I didn't mean it. I knew something was wrong with me. Although I felt
wronged, this was also cultivation. Master tells us that the essence of cultivation is to remove human notions,
but I didn't truly understand it. This tribulation knocked me out and I didn't
do anything for two days. Teacher said, "I see everything you have done. It's truly extraordinary. But that
said, this is something that attests on a fundamental level to whether someone
is in essence a cultivator; so that which leads you to not take criticism,
that thing has to be removed. Even if you have done well in all other areas
and are lousy only in this one regard, you are still not a cultivator. In the
past, cultivators would work on this issue first, and it was a qualification
for being chosen as a disciple. I did the same before the persecution of Dafa
disciples began on July 20, 1999. After July 20, 1999, I didn't emphasize it.
Today I am raising the issue again, and with this, I am eliminating for you
the physical substance that has formed. (Applause) But you need to
correct the tendency you have formed--you must. Be sure to pay heed! From this
point on, whoever can't take criticism is not being diligent, whoever can't
take criticism is not displaying the state of a cultivator, or at least on
this issue. (Applause) If someone still can't pass this test, I'll tell
you, he is in a very dangerous situation, because for a cultivator this is the
most fundamental thing, it's at the top of the list of things to eliminate,
and it has to be eliminated. If you don't get rid of it, you won't
achieve Consummation. Don't let it become that it's ordinary people doing the
work of Dafa disciples. You want to achieve Consummation, not good
fortune." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles" in
2006) I understood from Fa principles that I had to suppress my shortcomings. I
know where I fall short but I wouldn't let other people speak of it. After I
identified this issue I truly thanked the other practitioner from the bottom of
my heart. She had pointed out my attachment, and I discovered the fundamental
problem amidst the conflict. Later I realized why Teacher had arranged for us to work together. He wanted
us to improve and make diligent progress together through validating the Fa. A
while ago, we again came to loggerheads. I sensed she was always thinking of me
in a negative way, while my true thoughts are quite different from her
imagination. I was afraid of her misunderstandings of me so I constantly tried
to explain myself. I even used Teacher's Fa to prove my "innocence."
After some time I decided to minimize our interactions so both of us could avoid
"injuries." But doing so, wouldn't we have fallen into the evil's trap
then? After calmly studying the Fa I saw a very serious problem in myself--I was
validating myself, not the Fa. Teacher said, "Recently, I have often stressed the issue of cooperating and
coordinating well with each other. Whether or not those bad attachments of
yours have been removed, you have to cooperate well with each other just the
same. Why is it that at times you see arguments coming up a lot, and sometimes
the arguments go on and on? Why is it that in validating the Fa, disciples'
opinions are time and again not unified? This is something that's been quite
prominent recently in Mainland China. What's the real problem? It's very
simple--it is a question of whether you are validating the Fa or validating
yourself. If you are validating the Fa, no matter what another person says
about you, you won't be affected inside. If someone counters your opinion and
you get riled up and don't like it, if when other people raise an opinion
opposite yours based on some problem you have or disagree with your opinion
and you don't like it, and you stand up to oppose it and argue on your own
behalf, and when this leads to your going off topic and not listening to
others, [in all such cases] you are--even if you are defending and explaining
yourself with the best of intentions--still just validating yourself. (Applause)
That is because you didn't put Dafa first, and at that time the thing that you
couldn't let go of most was self." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004
International Fa Conference in New York") When I realized I was validating myself, I again thanked the practitioner. We
should not consider the matter in and of itself. We should try to get rid of
impure matters during cultivation. I think of myself as a person who takes
reputation and personal interests lightly, so why had my ego become so large
during Fa-validation? I gradually came to the understanding that I had not
positioned Teacher, Dafa and myself correctly. Where would I be if it weren't
for Teacher and Dafa's salvation? Teacher gave us wisdom to validate the Fa and
rescue sentient beings. How can I use it to validate myself? Teacher said, "No matter how much work a person in charge has done among everyday
people, he is working for Dafa out of his own will. The success of his work is
only a manifestation among ordinary humans. It is the mighty power of Dafa
itself and the specific arrangements made by my Law Bodies that enable people
to obtain the Fa and spread the Fa widely. Without my Law Bodies doing these
things, even protecting the people in charge could hardly be ensured, let
alone spreading the Fa widely. So don't always think of yourselves too highly.
There is no fame, self-interest, or official titles in Dafa, but only
cultivation practice." ("A Heavy Blow" from Essentials for
Further Advancement) When I truly understood this Fa principle, I felt that my enlightenment
quality was poor. I had the same problem earlier on when working with other
practitioners, but I had not realized it until more than a year later. When the
other practitioner brought it up again, I quietly listened to her and
continuously looked inward. I have lately been busy with other things and heard other practitioners say
that the practitioner who had worked with me changed a great deal after she saw
that I stopped trying to explain myself. I gained another level of understanding
regarding coordination. When we can constantly give up our own emotions, attachments and human
notions and assimilate to the Fa, when we can face the problem with tolerant
hearts, all conflicts before us will dissolve, and then coordination work
becomes smooth and easy. I had a dream several days ago in which I saw many practitioners in a large
hall. I was standing in the middle. One practitioner said to me, "Whether
you guys cooperate well as a whole body depends on what's in your heart." I
answered, "I can look inward. Teacher said that a cultivator is not really
practicing cultivation if he stubbornly clings to his most fundamental
self-interests. I practice true cultivation." After I said these words,
other practitioners asked me to do the Dafa exercises. This dream inspired me.
In fact, when I use my mind to disperse the isolation and share my
understandings with more practitioners from the standpoint of the Fa, how can
the evil then take advantage of our gaps and persecute us? I also realized that when problems with other practitioners arise, we must
make sure to bear righteous thoughts toward fellow practitioners and not judge
others with our own notions, or we will fall into the evil's trap. I found that
many conflicts and misunderstandings came about this way. Teacher wants us to
truly improve ourselves in this environment, because, as he reminds us, our own
improvement is the top priority, and our work is more sacred when our minds are
pure. When other practitioners' attitudes toward me take a turn for the worse,
it's actually time for my xinxing improvement. We shouldn't always focus
on other people's shortcomings through magnifying glasses. We have to cultivate
ourselves. A few days ago, patrol officers arrested one practitioner but he returned
safely using the power of righteous thoughts. I felt terrible when I heard about
the arrest, as I thought I wasn't paying enough attention to other
practitioners. This practitioner was usually quite isolated and didn't
communicate much with other practitioners. His wife is also a practitioner, but
he doesn't really listen to her. I think the situation would have been different
if he had attended group Fa studies. I clearly realized what type of work a
coordinator should do--we should provide a solid cultivation environment in
which fellow practitioners are free from interference. In this environment we
can study the Fa as a group, find our shortcomings through discussions and truly
improve through doing the three things. After I came to this
realization, we immediately started to continuously establish and attend Fa
study groups and we discussed with other practitioners how to calmly study the
Fa well, how to constantly remove attachments, why our hands would fall down
when sending forth righteous thoughts, how to clarify the truth and rescue
people with a proper mindset instead of doing something that is superficially
boisterous. I shall conclude this article. I had written articles for two previous
conferences but they were not as specific as this one. I only wanted to praise
Teacher and Dafa with my heart, because I cannot imagine how a fragile person
like me could possibly become a Dafa disciple without Teacher's help, how I
could shoulder the sacred responsibilities of a Fa rectification period Dafa
disciple, or how I could understand the Fa. I also want to say to fellow
practitioners who have and are now working with me--let us bathe in the grace of
Dafa, join hands, and rescue sentient beings. I want to share some more of
Teacher's words with all of you, "There's something I said before. I said: although you're together
now, when you reach Consummation none of you will be able to find each
other." "So, cooperate well when you do things. Each Dafa disciple's thing is
everybody else's. Don't create distance and disharmony between each other over
some little, trivial thing. You can't do that, and you should treasure all
this. And also, you need to cooperate in Dafa things, and you should do a good
job of cooperating." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the
Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")
Chinese version available at
http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2006/10/26/140723.html
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