(Clearwisdom.net) On my path of helping Master to rectify the Fa over the last several years, I did not study the Fa well and had the attachment of fear. As a result, I was illegally imprisoned for two years. Under the benevolent strengthening of Master, I finally walked out of imprisonment with righteous thoughts. As I kept on studying the Fa with a tranquil mind, and as my xinxing kept on elevating, I began to think more clearly, more rationally, and I pay special attention now to cultivate every thought. I now do the three things better and more diligently.
Through Fa study, I found the biggest reason I was persecuted. I had the attachment of fear. Poisoned by the Communist Party culture for many years, I had formed ordinary people's viewpoints. I thought that clarifying the truth and distributing Falun Gong materials were dangerous, and that I would be caught at some point. I understand that many practitioners who have not stepped forward have this attachment, and that they therefore hide at home. Although I had the attachment, I thought, "I am a Falun Gong practitioner during the Fa-rectification period and I should follow Master's teachings. I should help Master to rectify the Fa and I should clarify the truth and save lives." Therefore, for the past several years I continued to clarify the truth and distribute Falun Gong materials.
When I started coming out to clarify the truth, I was scared. I then recited Master's Fa from my memory. Later, I sent forth righteous thoughts when I went out and gradually my mind calmed down. But my attachment was not completely removed and it sometimes showed up in my thoughts. I had many concerns, such as how should I deal with the police if they come and what should I tell them. I had formed many assumptions about what I should do if something happened. When some thoughts that were not good showed up in my mind, I could not reject them. It seemed that I was preparing to be persecuted all day long. As a result, I really was persecuted. Wasn't I asking to be persecuted? These are the big lessons I have learned.
Master said in "Drive Out Interference,"
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts."
I found the reason I was persecuted and I started to calm my mind down to learn the Fa. Through Fa study, I developed an understanding about rejecting the old forces. Master said,
"Of course, we don't acknowledge any of the things that the old forces arranged--I as your master don't acknowledge them, and Dafa disciples of course don't acknowledge them either. (Applause) But after all, they did do what they wanted to do, so there's all the more reason for Dafa disciples to do even better and cultivate themselves well in the course of saving all beings. When you encounter ordeals during your cultivation, you have got to cultivate yourself and look at yourself--that doesn't mean acknowledging the ordeals arranged by the old forces and trying to do well amidst the ordeals they've arranged, that's not the case. We negate even the very emergence of the old forces and everything that they've arranged; we don't even acknowledge their existence. We're fundamentally negating all of their things, and all of, and only, the things you do while negating and getting rid of them is mighty-virtue. It's not that you're cultivating amidst the ordeals they created. Rather, you are to walk your own path well while not acknowledging them, not even acknowledging the elimination of their ordeals' manifestations. (Applause) So looking at it from this angle, what we need to do is completely negate the old forces. Dafa disciples and I don't even acknowledge the manifestations of their last-ditch efforts." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference")
When a problem arose or when I felt uncomfortable physically, I would look inside for attachments and send forth righteous thoughts more frequently, and I understood that I should deny the old forces' arrangements. But I looked inside over and over again without achieving significant effect, and did not know why.
After I read Master's Fa above, I came to realize that I had not denied the old forces from every thought and I had even regarded those attachments and incorrect thoughts as coming from myself! That was where the key was. Even though I was doing the three things, I was doing them following the old forces' arrangement. How could that work? The thoughts and viewpoints that do not conform to "Truthfulness-Benevolence-Forbearance" are not me. We must distinguish clearly this point.
I started to pay attention to cultivate every thought. For example, many fellow practitioners said that I was different from others, I was a key character and I needed to be more careful about my safety. I said that I did not acknowledge the persecution. But when several people said it, I hesitated in my mind. Through studying the Fa, I came to realize that to deny the old forces' arrangement is not up to words, but thoughts and actions. Falun Gong practitioners are safe only when they study the Fa well, hold strong righteous thought and do righteous deeds, and walk on the path arranged by Master, denying the old force arrangements completely.
In order to completely eliminate the attachment of fear, I read and memorized many of Master's lectures about this. Master said,
"No matter how much I say, you still have to walk the path of cultivation yourselves. To walk this path well and progress to its end--nothing is more extraordinary. I say that because during the journey you will have hardships, tests of every sort, unforeseen ordeals, and you will have unexpected interference from all kinds of attachments and emotion. The interference will come from family, society, good friends, and even fellow cultivators. And along with this there is interference from changes in the state of human society and from human notions that were formed in society. All of those things can drag you back to being like an ordinary person. But if you can break through all of it, you can advance towards godhood. So as a cultivator, what is truly remarkable is when you can be steadfast and have righteous thoughts so firm that nothing can sway you. Be solid and firm like diamond, or granite, and then nothing can affect you--evil will be afraid at the mere sight of you. If upon encountering trying circumstances your thinking can be truly righteous, then, when faced with the evil's persecution and when faced with interference, just one sentence of yours fortified with steadfast righteous thoughts can instantly make the evil disintegrate (applause), and it will make those who are being used by the evil turn and flee, it will make the evil's persecution of you dissolve, and it will make the evil's interfering with you disappear without a trace. One thought born of righteous faith is all it takes. And whoever can hold firm that righteous thought and go the distance will become a magnificent god forged by Dafa."
("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference")
I felt that this lecture was talking to me. I kept on reading it and memorizing it; I deepened my understanding of the Fa and at the same time eliminated many of the attachments of fear. For example, I used to get scared when I heard knocks at my door, fearing that police had come to arrest me. Now, as soon as this thought of fear comes, I deny it right away: "This thought is not from me. It is interference from rotten demons." I do not acknowledge the thought and I deny and eliminate it with righteous thoughts. My mind calms down quickly. I came to realize that I am a dignified Falun Gong practitioner. I am doing the best thing in the whole universe to save lives. Why should I be afraid of evildoers? The evil has been eliminated in large quantities. It is afraid. I will uphold my righteous thoughts and do righteous deeds, and walk my cultivation path well.
To strengthen my righteous thoughts, I frequently recite in my mind, "I am Master's disciple and I practice Falun Dafa and 'Truthfulness-Benevolence-Forbearance.' I only follow the path arranged by Master. I do not accept the old forces' arrangement and I completely deny it. I will follow Master to the conclusion." Before, I would feel unsteady in my mind when I had some truth-clarification materials in my home and I would keep thinking handing it out. Now, as I read the Fa and elevate my xinxing, I have set up a home-based materials center. I overcame many difficulties, not knowing how to use a computer, and started producing materials for local practitioners. I also helped three other practitioners to set up their own materials centers. For me, this is really a big leap forward. It was a demonstration of the power of Master and Dafa.
Dafa practitioners completely deny the old forces and everything arranged by them. I still have many shortcomings. I would like to share some encouragement with fellow practitioners, and diligently cultivate as Master mentioned: "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be."
February 14, 2006
