Looking Inward for Xinxing Problems When Facing Tribulations

By a practitioner from China

(Clearwisdom.net)

Here, I would like to share some cultivation enlightenment with fellow practitioners.

A practitioner who was just released from jail came to stay at my home for a short time. She told me about the torture she received for refusing to sign a guarantee statement. The prison had once announced a campaign to achieve 100% "transformation" of Falun Gong practitioners. Because she was sober and refused to write the three statements against Falun Dafa, the police tied her hands together behind her back and hung her from a heating pipe located on the ceiling. Her full weight was thus hinged on her shoulders. She immediately felt her muscles and ligaments being torn, and the pain caused her to shake all over. Her shoulders soon swelled up, she became soaked in sweat and she lost control of her bowels. Menstruation blood, feces and urine flowed down her pant legs and soiled the floor. The police were jumping with fury at the incident. Shouting and swearing, they used a mop to spread the feces all over her body and crudely stuffed them into her mouth. Some practitioners signed the three statements since they were unable to endure tortures such as these.

During those few days I felt a bit of swelling and pain in my chest. Hearing her tell of the mop being forcibly pushed against her chest, I felt afraid, thinking, "I mustn’t get arrested. I feel pain already without that mop being pushed on my chest. If I was tortured with a mop like that it would kill me." After I said this, with each passing day, my chest hurt more and more. I surveyed my chest with my hand and I was shocked: a walnut sized lump had appeared on my left breast. At that moment - my righteous thoughts were not strong enough, and a thought flashed in my mind, "If I wasn’t cultivating, such pain might require a check up to see if it might be breast cancer." With this thought things became disastrous and pain radiated through out my left chest, rib bones, under my left armpit and down through my arm. The terrible feeling spread throughout my entire upper body.

The third day after discovering the lump I was restricted from turning while sleeping. I quickly awakened to it and started to clean myself up, digging up the roots. I asked myself if I am a genuine Dafa disciple, do I believe in Dafa 100 0.000000rom deep down. I answered: "I do." So the thought mentioned above was not my true self speaking. It was because the evil exploited my pursuit of comfort and my attachment of fear. Master and the Fa are with me, and I should just do well the things a Fa-rectification disciple should do. Once I let go of the attachments and my thoughts returned to righteousness, the symptoms that had developed for over ten days all disappeared. I felt my breast again, and the lump was gone.

Though I did not pass the test well, eventually I stood firm on the side of Fa. Actually, whatever problem appears on our bodies is bound to be caused by problems in our xinxing, due to this or that attachment that we could not let go. We should dig inwards deeply, get our thinking back on the Fa and catch up with the progress of Fa rectification. This is the basis for solving the simplest of problems. If I did not let go of the attachment and went to the hospital to have a check up, on this issue my xinxing would have dropped to the level of everyday people. The doctor would have mentioned the name of a disease, a name that sounds terrible to everyday people, and the attachment would have become even stronger. Potentially, the result could have been quite bad.

Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2006/5/20/128220.html

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