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A Young Practitioner Breaks through the Test of "Qing" By a Falun Dafa practitioner in Beijing
(Clearwisdom.net) Six months after my graduation from college, I met a
girl. I ended up writing a love letter to her and became embroiled in qing. My suffering was so intense during those hard times that I could not sleep at
all at night. This was done knowingly, so it produced a feeling of self-loathing, and the
recollection of this feeling of shame was unbearable to me for a long time. Having broken through the test of qing, I want to share my experience with
fellow practitioners who have encountered similar problems. Firstly, one should not be attached to qing. One must be clear headed at all
times, and carefully distinguish the true self from ideas obtained after birth
by examining every single thought. If it is an idea obtained postnatally, one
should think about it thoroughly, face it, and eliminate it with righteous
thoughts. If one can examine one's every thought all of the time for a while
(say, one or two days), one will see significant improvements. Secondly, one should let go of the human mindset and should not consider
problems with a human mindset. When I was sunk deeply in the tribulation, I only
used my human side to think about the problems. It did not occur to me that her
attitude toward me had something to do with the old forces wanting me to fall,
and manipulating her to behave that way to cause my fall. Anything she did
seemed to be directed at my heart and resulted in increasing my attachments. One
must not use the human mindset to think about problems, instead, one should use
powerful righteous thoughts, knowing clearly that you are a Falun Dafa
practitioner. One should not be moved by ordinary people, and not consider
problems with human notions. One should also realize that the appearance of
"trouble" actually brings a good opportunity to eliminate the
attachment of qing, that all problems are targeting the heart, and that it is a
chance for us to improve. Thus, we should better control ourselves, eliminate
the attachments, and improve ourselves. Thirdly, when refused by the girl I felt extremely depressed. Why? Because of
selfishness. Since people are selfish, when one is rejected, one would think
that the person does not acknowledge you or think well of you. This would move
the heart of selfishness, and one would feel uneasy and embarrassed. Had I taken
lightly what people say about me, good or bad (according to Teacher's teaching),
I would not have had such reactions. The reason, at the root is actually the
heart of selfishness. Attachment to qing between a man and woman is an attachment to the so-called
"beauty" and "happiness" in the secular world; in other
words, not totally letting go of worldly things. However, would the so called
"beauty" still be beautiful if measured with the Fa? It would not be.
What is the goal of Falun Dafa practitioners? Should we not let go of worldly
things? Also, we should be confident in ourselves in being able to get rid of the
attachment of qing. Do not reinforce thoughts of worry that you may fail. The
mental burden is actually a "fear" that acknowledges it and a
"request" for it. This way the qing presses deeper into us. If you have fallen deeply into qing and feel that it is hard to get out of it
with your righteous thoughts, you may want to shift your focus to doing the
three things more diligently. Just do what a Falun Dafa practitioner
is supposed to do without thinking about anything else. When you have really
done the three things well, you will find that you have gotten rid of the qing
naturally. Do not let the tribulation of qing affect your doing the three
things. We should try our best to do the three things well no matter how painful
it is, how difficult it is, and how hard it is to let go of the attachments. In the meantime, we should also deal with relationships with ordinary people
properly. Although others have brought tribulations, we should be compassionate
to them and treat them with benevolent thoughts. Teacher said in Teaching the
Fa in Canada, 2006: "The work and family environments that you spend time in are both
settings in which you are to cultivate yourselves, are part of the path you
must walk, are what you must handle, and handle correctly at that. None of
these should be glossed over. When you have made it to the end, [a question
would be]: How did you travel the path that Master arranged for you? When all
is said and done, these things have to be taken into account. And in the
course of your cultivation these things have to be looked at, too. So you
shouldn't neglect anything." I came to the realization that we should deal with the relationships with
others properly. Regardless of how things turn out, we should not verbally or
physically abuse others. We should treat others well. As Falun Dafa
practitioners, our state of mind should be that of compassion, which will move
others and let them feel the great benevolence and great endurance of Falun Dafa
practitioners. I personally believe that this is validating the Fa. Being unable to relinquish the attachment of qing is an indication of a lack
of Fa study. If we really understand the Fa clearly, then the principles of
predestined relationships and following the course of nature will enable us not
to be moved by the attachments of ordinary people. Reading the Fa more will
purify our lives, and eventually we will be able to let go of ordinary people's
qing. The above is my experience that I would like to share with fellow
practitioners. Please point out anything that is not in line with the Fa. Posting date: 6/28/2006
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