After Eagerly Awaiting the Publication of New Lectures, I Looked Inward and Found Many Shortcomings

(Clearwisdom.net)

Ever since I learned of the news that New York Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference was held in Manhattan on May 26, 2006 and our compassionate Teacher gave a one-hour speech at the conference, I had been anxiously waiting for Teacher’s speech to be published. One month after the conference, the speech was still not published. I thought to myself, "Maybe I should let go of the attachment of being so eager to see Teacher’s new lecture. When it’s the right time for it to be published, it will be."

During the long vacation of the "May 1st" Festival, my wife and I traveled to clarify the truth and encourage people to quite CCP (Chinese Communist Party) organizations. As soon as we returned home, I turned on my computer and downloaded the past 7 days of content from the Clearwisdom website to check, however, I found that they still had not published Master's teaching the Fa at the New York Fa Conference. I suddenly realized that it was not just a simple issue of the publishing time. I think that Master's publishing every transcript of teaching the Fa at a Fa conference and new articles, all closely relate to the Fa-rectification in the whole cosmos and Dafa disciples' cultivation progress. Master has arranged every detail of Fa-rectification. Master always gives us time to understand and improve after He teaches the Fa.

However, are all of the Dafa disciples reaching the required standard? For example: Do those practitioners who didn't clearly understand the principle behind encouraging people to quit the CCP organizations really understand now? After the evils of the CCP's concentration camps were discovered, some practitioners looked at it with human mentalities and were disturbed. Have those practitioners studied the Fa, understood the situation, and done what they should do? Have those practitioners who fell and went astray come back to the right path? Furthermore: In "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles," Master pointed out a very serious problem among the Dafa disciples that must be resolved quickly. Have we really resolved this problem?

Looking back myself, I studied "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles" several times, and also recognized that the serious problems that Master pointed out applies to me too. Before the "May 1st" Festival when we started to go out to clarify the truth, I decided that I should not only clarify the truth and save people well, but also completely eliminate the attachment of not letting other people point out my shortcomings, looking externally, always rebuking other people, and explaining away my problems, etc. However, though I clarified the truth to many people, and encouraged many people to quit the CCP organizations during the trip, I was still embarrassed to look at Master's picture after I returned home, because I had not completely eliminated the serious problem within myself. When cooperating with my wife, I often had conflicts with her and did not look internally. I felt very ashamed to face Master.

So I think I should look inward first, instead of looking for Master's new article. I should try my best to make progress. Maybe the reason why Master doesn't publish the new lecture, is that He is waiting for the disciples to really upgrade. I feel that Dafa disciples must assist Master to validate Dafa and do the three things well, so as not to encumber Master any more.

This is a little bit of my understanding. Please correct me if you think it is not right.

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2006/5/18/128128.html

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