(Clearwisdom.net) Just over a year ago I returned to the path of cultivation after a two-year absence. I would like to recount my experience of returning to Dafa and Fa-rectification cultivation. I hope my experience can encourage any practitioners who may have stumbled to return to Dafa as soon as possible as well as to help other practitioners advance.

I first began cultivating in autumn 1999 and did so for about four years before slipping up. Looking back, I was not making Fa study a priority at the time. I had also separated myself from the group of practitioners in Ireland. On the surface it happened because I was busy with so many things--work, clarifying the facts, college, and not balancing my time well, all of which gave me an excuse to slack off in certain aspects. In actuality I simply didn't make Fa study and Dafa a priority. As time went on, my righteous thoughts waned and my mind became clouded and limited. I felt forced down by everything around. There were times of clarity but they only led to promises to study later in the day or the following day.

This lasted two years. During this time, my heart was torn between being a human and doing what I truly wanted--returning to Dafa. Sometimes it felt like I was being torn in two directions, but I think I always held the Fa in my heart and knew that Master was caring for me even though I had fallen. I understand that the times of clarity I experienced were actually provided by Master, who temporarily cleared away the interference to encourage me to strengthen my righteous thoughts and return to Dafa.

Toward the end of these two years, returning to Dafa seemed was only made difficult by fear. I was afraid of what people would say, what they would think, and about how I had failed once and could fail again.

Master said in Pass the Deadly Test:

This was certainly the case with when I fell and wanted to return but dared not pick up Zhuan Falun because I did not believe that I was worthy enough to read this book of the Fa. These thoughts were always at the forefront of my mind during this period. But weren't they in line with the old forces?

My return strengthened my faith in Master, the Fa, and righteous thoughts. One night while lying in bed, I thought long and hard about solidly putting my heart into Dafa again. At that time, I had a thought that my intention to return was based on a selfish motive to cultivate and so I needed to look inside myself deeply. I realized that this was not the case. It was another form of interference trying to keep me from returning to this path. I calmed my heart and solidified my resolve to cultivate once more.

In the preceding days, my heart had been aching and my mind was clouded with sentimentality. But the instant I make the decision to practice once again, my heart and mind became peaceful and quiet.

The first step was to contact other practitioners. My mind was not at ease as I was still fearful of what others would think. I sent a text message to the only practitioner whose number I still had. He phoned me and we talked for some time. I was touched by his openness and how he was pleased because I was once again walking the path of Dafa. Everything was open between us, something that I had not experienced in a long time. I remember Master saying in the lectures in Guangzhou that Falun Gong is a land of purity--I truly felt this at that moment.

Other practitioners also welcomed me back wholeheartedly. The notions of fear that I had formed before my return to Dafa were simply dissolved.

From the time of my return, I have firmly tried to make Fa study a priority as Master has said. Occasionally, I have had stray thoughts interfering with me and attempting to make me fall but I have pushed through these. I have also decided to face my fears with more righteous thoughts.

Thinking about my previous years of cultivation and the two intervening problem years, I see the fundamental cause as my pursuit of a comfortable life. Because of this, there was interference, and because I was not studying the Fa properly, I could not see the problem for what it actually was. I think I was walking the path arranged by the old forces. Moreover, I was not clearing away the evil factors by sending forth righteous thoughts and clarifying the facts.

My understanding of cultivation has changed because of this experience. At the beginning, I thought that cultivating was something special, and that a practitioner needed to walk his or her path while being removed from this world, i.e. not participating in anything to do with ordinary human society. Since returning, I have understood on a deeper level that the purpose of being human is to cultivate, and the purpose of being a Dafa disciple is to assist Master in rectifying the Fa. With this understanding, the pursuit of comfort has diminished and making Fa study my number one priority has just become natural.

Master said in Pass the Deadly Test:

Since my return to Dafa, my thinking has changed drastically and I realize that I do not need to worry so much about what others think. I need to simply walk the path arranged by Master and upgrade xinxing in everything I do. This way I will never fall.

During the last several years, I have met some practitioners who have also left Dafa temporarily. I decided to write this article to encourage these practitioners to return to Dafa. I also hope that other practitioners can learn from my experiences and do the three things that Master has asked us to do.

Let's not miss this precious opportunity and strive forward diligently.

Heshi.