(Clearwisdom.net) I always regard myself as a more recent Fa-rectification period disciple, as I did not build a strong foundation during the personal cultivation period. After the persecution started on July 20, 1999, I suffered extreme hardship on my cultivation path and once even stopped practicing Falun Dafa. When I took up the practice again, I did not enlighten to many Fa principles that are important to the Fa-rectification period. I also did not have a clear understanding on the persecution by the old forces, so I encountered continuous persecution. During that time, one of my family members passed away as the result of persecution. I stumbled along the way and was filled with deep regret and self-blame. Yet, our great and merciful Teacher enlightened and pulled me up bit by bit with the Fa principles. I still feel like a bird with a broken wing, but know that Teacher picks me up and encourages me when it becomes difficult and exhausting. I can always feel Teacher's warm hands holding me and leading the way.
In cultivating diligently and saving sentient beings, newer practitioners also do their part in validating Falun Dafa's and Teacher's greatness, as well as Teacher's immeasurable mercy, potent Fa power and mighty virtue. Despite many of life's impure elements, Fa-rectification period cultivation, the salvation of sentient beings, and self-rectification continue with Teacher's constant hints and support. Every time I think about all of this, I feel as if I disappoint Teacher. Then, I ask myself, "Can I be more diligent?"
Benefiting from the Minghui Website
At the beginning of Fa-rectification cultivation, I felt the urge to constantly read information on the Minghui website. I wanted to read Teacher's lectures immediately after they were published, read fellow practitioners' experience sharing, hear of Falun Dafa's process in the human world and constantly be on top of the Fa-rectification process, so I could save sentient beings better. During my personal cultivation period I became an extremist and did not use the computer. I am a university graduate, but I did not even know how to turn on a computer. I was in a strange city and could not find any practitioners. However, I held firm to Falun Dafa's teachings and I trusted that Teacher would help me. With help from non-practitioners, I learned how to use a computer and surf websites. But I knew nothing about breaking through the Internet blockade and did not dare to ask non-practitioners to set up my computer. Therefore, I had not installed any safety programs. Although I could not break through the Internet blockade, lacked the applicable software and did not know how to find the Minghui website, I held in my mind the thought that Teacher would help arrange this for me.
Within a few days of holding the wish to read Minghui and turning on the computer, I found the DynaWeb address from an old "Minghui Weekly." I finally accessed the Minghui website for the first time. I saw a pure, soft blue and orange colored Falun that looked clear and transparent. I saw Teacher quietly watching the world from atop a mountain. I felt no strangeness, but like seeing an old friend again and returning home. I was not excited but rather felt very calm and tranquil. It felt so natural and unique.
I read Minghui daily and never stopped even once, even during the most severe Internet blockade. I firmly believed I would be alright because Teacher once told us that no one could block the Minghui website. I enlightened to the Fa principles Teacher said were required for the new cosmos. Teacher told us to eliminate and negate the old forces' arrangements. I understood that we are leaving references for the future. That is why Teacher granted practitioners supernatural powers.
Achieving Everything Needed During the Fa-rectification Period
While using the computer, many of my human notions were exposed, and many selfish attachments were abandoned. Once, when I was downloading Falun Dafa books, fellow practitioners were binding copies of Guiding the Voyage and other Falun Dafa books by Master. We did not have specialized equipment for binding books, so we used a long needle to make holes to bind the books. It was very exhausting, and we wanted to be on time for the afternoon train. A fellow practitioner asked, "Can you help bind the books?" I replied, "I am busy downloading Falun Dafa information." I blamed her for not being able to endure hardship, so I did not help. When I was downloading The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa, I had computer problems. I thought that the problem arose from having to download many pictures. Then it came to me that I should not use human notions to assess the difficulty I encountered, but should look within. I was not improving my moral character. Therefore, I stopped the computer and helped bind books. A practitioner asked, "Is it alright if you don't finish the downloading?" I answered, "Yes, I'll finish later." We finished very close to the time that we had to leave. I began to download The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa again. It was a miracle. It was done in no time and faster than any other book. I understood that Teacher just wanted me to recognize my shortcoming and improve.
At that time, there were no safety precautions set up on my computer. A non-practitioner who lived at my home surfed non-Dafa websites daily for half of the night. Looking back now, I remember that I was able to break through the Internet blockade safely. It all depends on Teacher's strengthening and protection. The DynaWeb link was retained in the memory of the computer. For safety reasons, I was wondering how to delete it. I had no idea. One day, I saw a "3721 Internet assistance" symbol on my computer, which told me how to delete things. I deleted the DynaWeb address. But I was still worried. Where did it delete to? Many thoughts crossed my mind. I wondered if it went somewhere else. Was it revealed to someone else? Teacher gave me a hint, but I did not understand it. My terrace began to leak water. We lived on the top floor and it was not raining. I knew something was wrong, and practitioners began to discuss on Minghui that the "3721 Internet assistance" was something from the evil Party. I asked someone to reinstall this program.
I realize now how Teacher helped us to break through the Internet blockade and overcome many old cosmos factors, so practitioners would assimilate into Dafa and be purified! When I look back at the process of learning to use a computer and printer, burn copies, make materials, make Dafa books, edit materials, write articles, and so on, I understand that it all depends on our diligence. Saving sentient beings and assimilating into the Fa can be achieved, because Teacher grants everything to us. I know now that as long as we are willing to constantly advance and melt into the Fa, we feel the peace from the Buddha light illuminating everywhere.
Sensing Sentient Beings' Hopes
When I began clarifying the truth, as there were no truth-clarification materials available, I went to a shopping center, and talked to individual salespeople. I did not know what else to do. Beijing is China's most evil environment and it is unscrupulously controlled by the evil. I did not understand about monitoring or security. It was not that I did not really know about it. It was as if I was hidden and totally aloof from the world around me. I merely thought of things that I wanted to do. Now I understand that Teacher was strengthening me, helping me to break through tribulations and barriers and leaving me some human courage. At that time, I did not observe people's reactions, because I just wanted to tell them all the facts I knew. Surprisingly, people accepted it almost without resisting. Once I was watched by a plainclothes police officer in the shopping center. That person followed me wherever I went. I knew that his intention was not good, but I did not think about it too much. I just wanted to see what he would do. A fellow practitioner who was with me followed him, so he was frightened off.
Every time I went out to clarify the truth, I had to walk a long distance. On the way back, I felt tired but happy. Actually, I was also quite attached to validating myself and did not look within as often as I should have. Even today, I do truth-clarification face to face better than handing out truth-clarification materials. I am faced with fewer obstacles. However, I no longer feel I am as earnest and pure as I was at that time.
I have been clarifying the truth for so many years. Non-practitioners' reactions have amazed me many times. This summer, I visited my hometown. There were many people on the train, and many did not have seats. They stood in the aisles. The guards and attendants constantly appeared and disappeared. I thought that there were too many people and that it was not easy to talk. I did not talk and sat down. A lady across from me smiled at me again and again. I knew that she was waiting for me to save her. I thought that I must save the sentient beings that Teacher arranged for me to meet. So I began to talk about the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, and told her about withdrawing from the Communist Party and its affiliated organizations. It appeared to be coincidental that passengers in the seat across from me constantly came and left, one after the other. I continuously explained the truth. Therefore, I saved several people with predestined relationships.
Seeing the expectant faces of sentient beings, I understand that there is no reason not to clarify the truth and not to save them. Once, in a big shopping center, I was resting on a chair. A woman in village dress came and sat next to me. She asked me something in a dialect that was hard to understand. I patiently talked to her and found out that she was from Sichuan Province. She came to Beijing with her husband who worked on a building construction site. She was looking for a cleaning job. I sent forth righteous thoughts, talked slowly for a while and then clarified the truth about Falun Dafa. I still was not quite sure how much she understood. I realized that this was interference, so I continued sending forth righteous thoughts. Then I told her about the persecution and that the "Tiananmen self-immolation incident" was staged. I also taught her to read the characters: "Falun Dafa is good." She asked me to write this sentence on a piece of paper for her, as she wanted to teach her husband. I was astonished. I didn't have any paper or a pen. She found a very small piece of paper with the edges curled up and asked me to borrow a pen from the shop assistant.
When I returned the paper with "Falun Dafa is good" written on it to her, I saw her eyes sparkle excitedly. It came from her true self and was the gratification from realizing finally a long held expectation. During my truth-clarification, I have seen this sparkle in people's eyes many times. Teacher let me see the reaction of sentient beings after hearing the truth. He let me feel the sacred mission of Dafa practitioners.
When Truly Assisting in Saving Sentient Beings, Teacher Will Help us All the Way
When I began clarifying the truth, I hoped that I had materials to hand out. I had nothing, so I had an idea. I purchased color paper in the width of a finger, with some glue on one side. It was in fluorescent colors and looked very nice. I bought several dozen in pink, blue and yellow. I wrote "Falun Dafa is good" or "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance is good" on the front, and wrote the DynaWeb website address on the back.
The DynaWeb link helped break through the Internet blockade from day one. I did not actually know all its functions. It worked well for over a year. I stopped when I found Internet blockade software. I wrote this website link on the pieces of paper and carried a lot of them in my pockets. I inserted them into books in book-shops, and especially chose the big book-shops.
On October 1, a young fellow practitioner and I went to Xidan Book City. The evil field then was stronger than it is now. We walked to the underground gate of Xidan. It was guarded by police and at the entrance of Book City there was a table and a few chairs. Many police officers sat there in a circle watching what went on around them. We entered the building. The young practitioner and I began to put the pieces of paper into books. There were many customers, many shop assistants and many pieces of truth-clarification paper in our pockets. We were unable to distribute all of them. After having been on a number of floors, it was almost evening. When we arrived on the ground floor, a piece of paper fell from my hand. A janitor was sweeping the floor. There were many customers between the janitor and us. The paper fell slowly to the ground. The upside was blank. The cleaner did not see anything and was going to clear it away as rubbish. The young practitioner leisurely picked it up. It was a false alarm, but I did not want to hand out the remaining papers. The young practitioner encouraged me and said that we must distribute them all. My righteous thoughts appeared and my fatigue then disappeared. We handed out the remaining paper. It was actually impossible when looked at with human mentality. But, we both understood that Teacher was helping us.
I realized that as long as we are willing to do things and think only of the salvation of sentient beings, Teacher will prepare everything for us. I understand that as long as we are able to improve on the Fa, the path becomes wider and wider. In this circumstance I knew nothing and had nothing, but I used means that I was capable of.
Shortly after that, I had a multi-functional machine with printing and photocopying functions. In the beginning, I only knew how to make copies. Later on I learned from reading Minghui articles written by practitioners how to print, refill the ink and edit word files. I felt the supernatural power of Dafa when I encountered unsolvable problems. A method would pop into my mind, or I would accidentally touch or click somewhere and was successful. Also, an article on Minghui mentioned it when I needed to know what to do. My technical capabilities, improvement of my moral character and enlightening to Fa principles all came that way. I deeply felt Teacher's boundless power and protection of practitioners in a subtle way.
Therefore, I thank Teacher once again! I also thank all fellow practitioners who contributed to my improvement through Minghui.
The Fa is Powerful!
After July 20, 1999, I validated Dafa with human notions, and I did quite well in that evil environment in the beginning. After several detentions, I lost the environment of studying the Fa. Due to the evil atrocities, my firm faith in Dafa lost ground. I lost my way in the complicated environment where hypocrisy and deceit reigned. I thought that I was studying the Fa diligently and that I progressed steadily in my understanding of the Fa. Instead, I was driven by internal demons. I was filled with regret after I awakened. I was filled with fear of losing the chance of practicing Dafa forever, a feeling that can't be described in human language. My gratitude to Teacher for saving me again can't be expressed by human languages or the languages of the entire universe. I experienced Teacher's compassion and power.
Yet, I went to another extreme. I did not believe in myself. I believed that all practitioners cultivate and know the Fa principles better than I. I accepted the arrangements of the old forces and wallowed in my human notions. I was faced with the persecution and suffered great losses. I could not awaken from stepping aside from my path. I still admired others and suffered more heavy losses. I gradually calmed down and used the Fa to guide me. I realized that it is not whether I am capable or not, it is the Fa that is capable! As long as there is the Fa, as long as the Fa guides us, we are able to distinguish right from wrong.
When I began to get rid of the interference, the evil made its move. One early morning, over 20 police officers, National Security officers, and 610 Office agents broke into the temporary residence where several practitioners and I lived. They arrested us. I felt annoyed because I faced another round of persecution. I had changed, as I only took a short instant to get rid of negative thoughts. I kept one thought in my mind, "Since I'm faced with this, I won't cooperate and will completely deny it." I refused to go with them. Four big men lifted me up with my head facing down. I shouted, "Falun Dafa is good!" The officers on my left side pinched my left arm. It was extremely painful. I thought I should focus on sending forth righteous thoughts and not shout. Then, another thought emerged, "Ignore the pain. It is most important to let people in the building know the truth about Dafa. Continue to shout 'Dafa is good', regardless of the pain." I no longer felt the pain.
The police officers thought that they had caught the key people. Therefore, they took us directly to the city National Security Brigade, took photos and filmed us. We refused to cooperate. We simply clarified the truth and sent forth righteous thoughts. Several young police officers truly understood and one of them said, "I also believe you when you say that the 'Tiananmen self-immolation incident' is fabricated. My analysis of the situation tells me that you are right, I must really think about this." One policewoman was rather vicious. My notebook had been confiscated. She asked, "How come you speak this well? How come you are quite knowledgeable? Where did you get to know so much?" I suddenly knew the answer and said "The Voice of America. Why don't you listen to the Voice of America?" The officers said, "Yes, we should listen to the Voice of America." That policewoman sullenly got out of the way.
One part of our thoughts was on the Fa. We asked Teacher to strengthen us, sent forth righteous thoughts, explained the truth and negated the all the old forces' arrangements. Yet, I suddenly was again filled with a deep inferiority complex. I thought that there is no practitioner in the world as bad as I am. I did not practice well and even my family passed away because of the persecution. Now I was caught again by the evil. I was expecting at least three years of forced labor. I asked myself, how can I validate Dafa and save sentient beings? I knew this thought was wrong. It wasn't me thinking it. I said to Teacher in my heart, "Teacher, I will not acknowledge the evil arrangement. I want to go home, study the Fa and clarify the facts." I understand that wanting to go home is an attachment. Although it is my attachment, I would rather be attached to returning home to practice and not follow the old forces' arrangements.
I clarified the truth and sent forth righteous thoughts to strengthen other arrested practitioners. Actually I was not selfish, as I mainly thought about clarifying the facts, saving people and the safety of fellow practitioners. I had to continuously fight with evil interference within myself. The chief of the National Security Brigade tried to prevent us from clarifying the facts. Every time he was menacing, we warned him, "You are not qualified to be responsible for me." He asked, "Who is responsible for you?" We answered, "Our Teacher!" He laughed and left. Yes, Teacher has immeasurable power and mighty virtue. Being Teacher's disciple is all what we ever wanted!
In the afternoon, the police released us unconditionally.
Looking Within Continuously
Once I looked within, I found my attachments--pride and a sense of inferiority! They were attachments to myself. They stopped me from being firm in my belief in Teacher and Dafa. When seeing other practitioners' shortcomings, I also must look within. I must help fellow practitioners improve in an open and honorable way. I have to hold the Fa in my heart and not deviate from the standard. Whatever we do, we have to consider whether we are responsible to Dafa. All this will stabilize righteous faith. I realized that I did not study the Fa diligently, so I had difficulties in taking a straight cultivation path. I could not help fellow practitioners or accept their assistance effectively. The one body cooperation was hindered and brought losses in the salvation of sentient beings. Once I realized that, I began to memorize Zhuan Falun. I became much more clear and rational.
For some time, I evaded and did not contact fellow practitioners. I thought that the coordinator had deep human attachments and was not within the Fa. He fought with any practitioner who tried to tell him. To reduce conflict, I just cooperated out of self-preservation. I looked at it as silently supplementing what was missing. It seemed to work well and achieve great results in exposing the evil and rescuing fellow practitioners. I only reminded him to study the Fa more and rarely pointed out any of his shortcomings. A practitioner once said to me, "It won't have any effect if just one or two people talk to him about his shortcomings. If more people talk to him, he will improve one day. We have to understand that it is very perilous if he does not improve for a long time. I tried to talk to him, but he did not accept it. I decided to wait for a more capable practitioner to help him. As a result, this practitioner was arrested shortly afterwards. Unfortunately, he implicated other practitioners. I watched helplessly the losses it caused to Dafa and knew that I definitely had a major problem.
I looked within, as I thought it best not to share with that fellow practitioner. I reasoned that that practitioner had too many problems. I decided to exchange views more often with fellow practitioners. Teacher said:
"You should look more into whether your own thinking is right. In a conflict, the more unfavorable the other person's behavior is toward you, the easier it is for you to think that he's wrong--"He's definitely wrong." Cultivation is a very involved thing, and getting rid of human attachments is the hardest. Try harder to look inside yourself, and just look for your own attachments. Everyone should examine himself and try to work well with one another. That's the most important thing." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
I suddenly understood--why had Teacher let me see that practitioner's attachment? When fellow practitioner had many problems, didn't this indicate that I also held onto many human notions? I asked myself why I maintained a superficial peace through human notions. Teacher told us that if we do not face the conflict head-on, we are actually selfish. Is an enlightened being's grand tolerance like that? Why was I always troubled by practitioners' shortcomings? I was unable to help fellow practitioners. Isn't this because I have not understood the Fa well enough?
I studied and memorized the Fa diligently. In the future when I work together with fellow practitioners, I will do my utmost to improve my moral character and put emphasis on mutual improvement. If we share on the Fa when encountering difficulties, and form a one-body cultivation environment, everything will be sacred. Then, the power of validating Dafa will be extensive. When we hold different ideas, we should step back, let it go, and look within. There were a number of times, when I looked within, other practitioners agreed with me and said, "I thought about it. You are right." I found the straight path that allows me to work with practitioners well during Fa-rectification. I also gradually matured in the process.
A few days ago, I displayed great impatience. I used an unpleasant tone when speaking to anyone. The atmosphere at home also became unharmonious and even a normal conversation turned into a quarrel. Why did this suddenly happen? It appeared that everyone had their own opinion of me. I recognized that I have been "tolerating" everyone. I was busy doing things that "validate Dafa," and had decided not to do anything that would bring trouble. I thought hard about it, looked within and realized that I "tolerated" everything on the surface. I was deceiving myself and others. I was not on the alert. Teacher wants to remove the substance that makes me step from my appointed path. Why can't I see that and do what's right? It is as if I'm going the opposite direction. It would be too dangerous if kept holding on to it. After I made my decision, I quickly adjusted my mindset, improved my mind nature, and passed the test. I feel that I have not completely eliminated this notion, as I still feel a bit uncomfortable sometimes upon hearing unpleasant words. But, since I am aware of it, I can succeed in eliminating this troubling notion.
During Fa-rectification period cultivation, fellow practitioners and I are gradually maturing. Yes, there are many shortcomings. But, we deeply believe in Teacher and Dafa. The Fa-rectification will certainly succeed! Dafa practitioners will certainly succeed! Thank you Teacher! We will make an effort to do better and better and assure that Teacher need not worry about us.
