I Found My True Self When Facing the Interference of Sentimentality

By Xiaolian, a practitioner from Taiwan

(Clearwisdom.net) cing Dafa for three years. During these three years, I have experienced many xinxing tests. The following is about my recent experience of finding my true self when facing the interference of sentimentality, and how I firmly upheld my righteous thoughts. Before I started my cultivation practice, I fell in love with a married man. I was very attached to him. Eventually, I realized that it was not going anywhere, so I forced myself to let go, and subsequently married my husband. We now have a lovely child. However, I still missed that man in the middle of the night. Later, I obtained the Fa. The happiness of obtaining the Fa diminished all my feelings about him. But over the past three years, I was sometimes diligent and sometimes slack in the practice. Sometimes I even fell down on my cultivation path. Luckily, I have always remembered that I am a Dafa practitioner. No matter how difficult or how much I have to endure, I will try to pass the tests.

Not long ago, I unexpectedly got in touch with the married man again on the Internet. I thought that I had let go of the attachment of sentimentality, but I still could not control my every thought, and I let the demons of sentimentality take advantage of the loophole. I said something to him that I should not have said and incited my own sentimentality and desire, which also badly influenced him. I finally told him that I practiced Dafa, that I should not do things to hurt other people, and that I hoped I could let go of that sentimentality.

However, I did not follow what I promised. I still wished to hear his voice, and I wanted to learn any news about him, even though I knew that it would be very dangerous if I continued like that. Matter and mind are one thing. In the other dimensions, human thoughts and mind-intent are also one matter. I would be generating karma if I continued to do those things that I knew I should not do. I struggled all the way, and got involved deeper and deeper. Right when I was just about to drop down to a low level, while I was doing the sitting meditation, my clear side was extremely clear-headed. I asked Master, "Dear Master, How badly I am suffering the attachment of sentimentality. I truly want to let go of this sentimentality. I am asking Master to help me to kindly resolve the relationship."

When I stood up from the sitting meditation, I seemed to have become another person. All those bad materials in my heart were gone. They were replaced by a very beautiful feeling. It's hard to express. I felt relieved and happy, and I became very calm and peaceful. When I thought about that man again, I felt as if he were a family member. I was not moved by him again. What I had was a genuine wish for him to be saved. I knew that I had passed another test in my cultivation practice, and it was Master who had helped me. I will diligently practice my cultivation and repay Master's grace.

Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2007/9/11/162463.html

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