Find Where You Fall Short and Strive Forward in Dafa
By a practitioner in China
(Clearwisdom.net) When I first heard about the Fifth Internet Experience
Sharing Conference for Practitioners in China, I knew I had to participate. I
have been following Teacher for so many years during Fa-rectification
cultivation. Whether it is an experience or a lesson, I knew I must earnestly
record it. This is a review of my cultivation journey. 1. Study Dafa, Improve Xinxing I began practicing Falun Dafa in April 1998. My entire outlook on the world
changed after my first reading of Zhuan Falun. I felt such
happiness in my heart. Soon, some of my colleagues were also practicing Dafa. Not long after we started practicing, our workplace announced a last chance
to get welfare housing from them. As it was the final one, competition was
especially intense. Other colleagues resorted to all kinds of methods to make
the house their own. They used their private relationships, went through back
doors and made up stories, all the while fighting and cursing at each other.
However we Falun Gong practitioners didn't do this. Although we had just learned
Dafa, we already understood the principle of "loss and gain." As a
example, according to my situation, I was only eligible for housing on the
fourth floor (top level) of our building. However, above the third floor you
couldn't get water. As I was a member of the housing allocation committee, if I
had requested the better apartment, the cadre explicitly told me that he would
put my name down as a candidate for the new apartment. However I did not do so.
I am a practitioner. How could I behave the same as an everyday person? So my
family and I were assigned to the top floor. Nevertheless, our family has never
been short of water in all these several years, and other conditions are also
very good. 2. Stepping Forward to Validate the Fa and Save Sentient Beings Several days prior to Teacher publishing the article "Toward
Consummation," I had a dream. I was standing on something like an
observation post and there was a receiving station in the sky for the Falun Dafa
paradise. A big balloon continuously delivered people from the observation post
to the Falun Dafa paradise receiving station, however I had not been picked up.
I didn't understand the meaning of this dream at that time. One day my husband
tried to force me to read a paper that slandered Teacher. I firmly resisted, so
he read it out loud. I was extremely sad to hear those absurd and evil lies. But
from that moment on I knew I had to go out and clarify the truth
about Teacher and Falun Dafa. Since then I've marched along the path of
validating Dafa and saving sentient beings. I finally understood the meaning of
my dream. If I don't come out to validate Dafa and save people, how can I be
Teacher's disciple? How can I be a Falun Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification
period? How can I move towards Consummation? In the beginning, fellow practitioners provided us with samples of
truth-clarification materials, which we photocopied. I cooperated with another
practitioner and together we photocopied and distributed four to five hundred
pamphlets each week. When I first started handing out materials, I was afraid.
But gradually my heart became more and more clean, more and more righteous.
After the staged "Tiananmen self-immolation incident," all of a sudden
dark clouds decended. I could feel the hatred and strange looks from my
colleagues, friends, and even family members. However, after over a year of
solid practice and tempering from validating the Fa and explaining the true
facts, I was filled with righteous faith in Dafa. It was difficult, but I
ignored the pressure. I focused on my mercy and responsibility towards saving
sentient beings. I realized that the real victims were those who had been
deceived by the lies. I wanted to use my wings to support a piece of the sky for
these sentient beings. Since 2001, I have been handing out truth clarification materials in the
countryside at least once a week. I usually cover one or two villages each time.
I try to give materials to the elderly and women, and talk with them face to
face. In a few short years, I have been to several dozen villages, large and
small. I went with a calm heart and returned safely every time. I had no concept
of being persecuted in my heart, because I knew Teacher was next to me. I was waiting for a bus one day after handing out materials. It was a very
hot day and I was incredibly thirsty. I wanted to buy a bottle of water but I
looked around and no one was selling any. I told myself to endure it. But when I
looked up again, suddenly there was an ice cream stand only a short distance
from me and they were selling water. I bought a bottle wondering how I could
have missed the stand first time around. After reading sharings by fellow
practitioners, I came to realize that Teacher had arranged that bottle of water
for me. My happiness and gratitude in that moment was indescribable! On another occasion, it began raining before I finished handing out
materials. Usually I leave the pamphlets and fliers at the villagers' gates, but
I was worried about them getting wet, so I stopped. I walked to the main road to
wait for a bus, but the rain was becoming heavier and heavier and none of the
buses stopped. I stood there with a very tranquil mind and warned myself that
this was a test, a test to see if I believed in Teacher. I believed Teacher was
next to me, and I could certainly go home safely soon. Shortly after having this
thought, a black passenger car slowly stopped in front of me. The driver asked
me to get in, but I said I was soaking and didn't want to get the car seat
wet. The driver insisted and told me to quickly get in. The driver took me home,
and I insisted the driver accept a ten yuan fare. I knew that
Teacher sent the driver. Think about it: in such heavy rain, even the bus
drivers were not willing to stop, but this high-class passenger car did. The
driver wouldn't even accept money until I insisted. This sort of thing just
doesn't happen in China today. My job requires that I work overtime at the end of each month and at the end
of the year. My workplace reimburses me for taxis I take after-hours. This is a
good chance for me to clarify the truth to the taxi drivers. Since it is such a
long drive, I have plenty of time to see the driver's attachments and can
untie the knots in the person's heart accordingly. Almost everyone realizes how
good Dafa is after listening to the truth. Some drivers even stop the car and
listen to me for hours, and still won't want to leave! They sometimes keep
saying, "Falun Dafa is so wonderful!" Some drivers asked me for the
book Zhuan Falun, and talk about how society is very chaotic and how hard
it is to educate children. One person wanted to use the words in the book to
educate his children to become good people. Some drivers talked about the beauty
of Dafa, and felt like life was better after listening to the truth, and so on.
Of course there are also a few who do not listen. Once I explained the truth to
a driver, and after a while he said, "Do you know there's a reward of
2000 yuan for reporting a Falun Gong practitioner." I looked at him and saw
his face becoming very strange. I realized the evil was controlling him, so I
sent forth righteous thoughts and said, "I don't think you are the kind of
person who would act against your own conscience for a little money. I won't
cheat your fare one cent. I'm just telling you the real situation." He
then quickly said, "Yeah, I wouldn't do such a thing." 3. Pacify the External by Cultivating the Internal In this relatively severe environment, besides clarifying the truth, I spend
a great amount of time studying the Fa and practicing the exercises. I read two
to three lectures in Zhuan Falun every day, and study all of Teacher's
other lectures that were published after the persecution began, every week. As I
studied the Fa more, I understood the Fa principles relatively clearly, and did
Fa-rectification things quite smoothly, and the effect was good. During that
period of time, many of my colleagues and friends got to know Dafa in positive
ways. One story worth mentioning was in 2002, when one of my colleagues was
admitted to Qinghua University as a graduate student. He came to my office to
say goodbye before he left, and I told him that I had wanted to invite him over
for a meal, but hadn't done so. Then I gave him a truth-clarification disc.
Unexpectedly he became so excited that his face went red. He kept saying,
"Elder sister thank you! Your gift is better than inviting me for ten
meals. I will certainly have a good look at it at home, and let my spouse see
it. I'll take good care of it so I can show my child when he grows up. 'Treasured
sword comes from whetting, plum blossom fragrance comes from bitter coldness.'
Passing through this persecution, it shows Falun Gong is great. Elder sister,
don't worry, if I get a good position, and enter the 'National People's
Congress' in the future, I will use my conscience to call for justice for Falun
Gong." This incident inspired me to do even better and at the same time, I
sincerely felt happy for this life. For so many years, I have experienced that studying the Fa well and improving
oneself is the essential key. When we improve ourselves, we are able to maintain
a peaceful and compassionate state. Sometimes we don't even need to do anything
purposefully. Sentient beings are still able to feel Dafa practitioners'
wonderfulness and goodness. A director of the internal control department in our workplace had poor
health, and I explained the true facts to him. One time he came to my office and
said, "If all Falun Gong practitioners in the whole world are like you and
have your quality, then I will firmly support Falun Dafa." I quickly told
him that I also have many shortcomings and still need to improve continuously.
As Falun Gong practitioners come from different backgrounds, and have different
understandings and abilities, and so on, many people have different good sides
and bad sides, but one thing is for sure, that these people try to become good
people, and better and better people. This is the most precious. I have another example. Once, an elder sister at my workplace told me two
days prior she had quarreled with a colleague in her office. Moreover, that
colleague called her at home that night, they argued again, and said very coarse
words to her. She was so angry that she couldn't sleep for the whole night. She
planned to have a good fight with this colleague in front of the cadres on the
following day, but when she saw me that day, her anger suddenly disappeared. All
of a sudden she no longer wanted to curse or fight. This elder sister now has a
good attitude towards Dafa, enjoys being with practitioners, and donates several
hundred yuan to make truth-clarification materials each year. She said she fully
realized that she had benefited from Dafa, and is fully aware that Teacher is
watching out for her. In the period around July 20, 1999, my husband did everything he could to
oppose my practicing Falun Gong. He beat me till I was covered in bruises. When
my "sentiment" was too strong and grabbed a hold of me, he scolded me
daily. He said I was selfish and heartless. However, when I gradually learned to
take sentiment lightly in my cultivation, he no longer said these things.
Sentimentality is selfish and for oneself. It cares only about one's own
feelings. However compassion is selfless and is for others. Other's feelings
are regarded above your own. Compassion emerges when a genuine practitioner
slowly puts down sentimentality in cultivation. Along with the improvement of my
realm and the abandonment of my attachments, my husband began no longer acting
like he did before. His temper is even much gentler than before I began
practicing. He even treats his parents better than before. I usually give my
seat to other people on the bus. When he was opposing my practice, he scolded
me, saying that practicing had made me stupid. Now he gives his seat away too.
My husband has a predestined relationship, so I believe he will be saved by Dafa
for sure. 4. My Home is a Small Flower in a Growing Field of Flowers In May 2005, several practitioners at a local materials production
site were successively arrested by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). The site
was destroyed, and this caused some fluctuations among local practitioners.
These practitioners have done much work in the years of Fa-rectification, played
a very important role locally in validating the Fa and saving sentient beings,
and they were the first who bravely took on this heavy burden in this severe
environment. As more and more practitioners stepped out to clarify the truth to
people however, demands of materials increased. Practitioners who made the
materials had heavier and heavier burdens. They didn't have enough time to study
the Fa, and lost their normal practice environment for a long time. Hence, the
old forces took advantage of this loophole. What's worse is that these
practitioners are still detained and persecuted to this day. We need to learn from this painful experience. Did the persecution of these
practitioners have anything to do with rest of us? If we had become mature a bit
earlier, cooperated a bit earlier, even quietly sent forth righteous thoughts
for them, and quietly strengthened them, perhaps the persecution would not have
occurred. If we were able to share a bit of the burden, if our materials
production sites were in more places, these practitioners would not be too busy
to study the Fa and practice the exercises. There may have been no loopholes for
the old forces to grasp. In July 2005, with help from fellow practitioners, I established a small
materials production site at my home. From having the idea, to purchasing and
installing the equipment, to the operation of the site, it took two to three
days in total. When I took the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party
disc I made to other practitioners, they were very surprised. They felt it was
so quick. My understanding on this was, since I enlightened to it I should be
able to quickly do it as long as I am aligned with the Fa. Thinking backwards
and forwards is a human notion. Teacher has already arranged everything for us.
It is up to practitioners to decide what we choose. Teacher told us in "Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference," "Master affirms what Dafa disciples have done. As long as you are
doing things out of a wish to validate the Fa and save sentient beings, I will
affirm all that you do. And when you go do those things, there will be my Law
Bodies or gods there to amplify it and make what you do yet more magnificent
and extraordinary, and they will assist you." Due to the conditions at that time, my first family materials production site
was set up in a small, damp, one-story house, which had never been occupied
before. It had a very heavy moisture and mildew smell. Furthermore, many sundry
goods were piled up in the room. My living conditions were very good, with
air-conditioning at work and home, and honestly speaking, if I was not making
informational materials, I would be unwilling to stay in such place for long.
This indicated that I had an attachment of seeking comfort. However in those
days, I stayed in that room during lunch break and after work, nearly every day,
and didn't feel the environment was uncomfortable at all. Gradually this little
room became more and more warm and auspicious. Along with the advancement of Fa-rectification and the abandonment of my
attachments, the environment of my home materials production site became better
and better. Now I can produce truth-clarification materials in a relatively
relaxed and good environment. I can also access the Internet, download
information, and send declarations for quitting the CCP, etc. 5. Clearly Analyze Insufficiencies, Strive Forward in Dafa In this difficult environment, I rely on solid Fa study and solid practice. I
am able to walk my path quite steadily because I make a priority of Fa study.
Although there were times I had difficulty letting go of attachments, although I
tripped and fell, my cultivation state could be seen as quite diligent. However
in today's relatively loose environment, in this extremely precious time, I
actually have idled for a while, and this has delayed much precious time for
saving people. Fellow practitioners give me piles of names of people who want to quit the
CCP each week. I sincerely appreciate practitioners, and at the same time I can
see my insufficiencies, and feel very ashamed. I look inward, find
sentimentality, my attachment of seeking comfort and lust derived from emotion,
as well as the attachment of not striving for advancement. That is also the
attachment of complacency, and so on. This is also my shortcoming and a loophole
in my practice. Meanwhile, I worry about losing face, and fear being hurt, which
seriously blocks my steps towards saving people. These must be abandoned as soon
as possible. I enlightened that the path arranged for us by Teacher lets us
improve in the process of cultivation and saving people. If we merely clear away
attachments, we might possibly be taking the path arranged by the old forces,
which will make it even harder to give up attachments, and possibly will be
accompanied by huge tests and ordeals. We can only follow Teacher's
requirement of doing the three things well, and solidly practice in
the process of doing the three things well. It "...truly points out those
attachments. By abandoning them, one will make very rapid progress in
cultivation." (Zhuan Falun) There are many stories to tell. No language of the human world can express my
gratitude to Teacher. I can only hope to be more diligent, and bring no shame to
the mission, so I can complete cultivation and return with Teacher.
Chinese version available at
http://minghui.org/mh/articles/2008/11/10/189017.html
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