(Clearwisdom.net) Master said,
"In the past, in whatever we were doing you would think: "How can I study the Fa well? How should I work for Dafa? How can I improve myself? How can I do better?" You always felt that you were learning Dafa, rather than that you were a part of Dafa. After this year I find that you've completely changed. You no longer think as you used to. No matter what you do for Dafa and no matter what it is you're doing, you are placing yourselves in Dafa instead of thinking about "I want to do something for Dafa" or "I want to improve myself in this way or that way" as you did before. No matter what you do, you aren't thinking that you're doing something for Dafa, about how you should do things for Dafa, or "how can I do things well for this Fa." Instead, you are placing yourselves in Dafa. Like a particle of Dafa, [you feel that] no matter what it is, you should just do it." ("Teaching the Fa at the Great Lakes Fa Conference in North America", Guiding the Voyage)
I have always known that my biggest problem has been letting go of the attachment to self. However, my understanding of it has always been perceptual. From several things that happened recently, I have developed a more rational understanding on this issue.
There is a coordinator in our region who has done very well. She takes initiatives to help others, clarifies the truth well, and has strong righteous thoughts. Without my noticing it, I began to rely on her. When there was a problem I was not judging it based on the Fa. Though on the surface it looked like I was sharing with practitioners who have strong righteous thoughts, in reality I had the attachment of imitating other people instead of studying the Fa, as well as the attachment of looking for external help.
Recently, there was a rumor going on among some practitioners about this coordinator saying that she was in touch with CCP secret agents and we should not talk with her. When I heard the rumor, I went to share with her. Due to our different opinions, we were arguing very intensely and in the end, we were both very upset.
When I got back, I opened up Master's new article,
"It's a problem if all eyes are fixed on the assistants, and everyone is helping them cultivate while forgetting that they themselves are cultivators too. More and more problems will arise when that's the case, since you are looking outward, looking externally." ("Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference")
I realized that I was following others and not cultivating myself. When I ask others to agree with me, isn't that an attachment to self? Isn't it a strong attachment of validating self? Once I realized this attachment, the coordinator also saw her own shortcomings.
Our relationship was growing in a better direction. However, the evil would not give up. As the rumor was spreading, the distance between practitioners and the coordinator was obviously growing. The manifestation was that when practitioners needed to cooperate with each other and do things, there would be interference. At that time, I realized that it was the evil utilizing our human notions and creating spaces among practitioners, thus preventing us from forming a one-body.
When another practitioner also realized this, we sent out strong righteous thoughts - no matter what, we would not allow the evil to create distance among practitioners; we would disintegrate all the meddling deities and dark minions. At that time, Master arranged an opportunity for all of us to cooperate with each other - we all went to see a practitioner who was suffering from sickness karma. We studied the Fa together, shared experiences, and sent forth righteous thoughts. After about three hours, the practitioner's sickness completely disappeared. It made me more firm in cultivation and begin to use righteous thoughts in dealing with issues of cooperating with each other in the one-body.
As we constantly gained more and more understanding based on the Fa and continued to send forth righteous thoughts, the evil rumor gradually got quiet and disappeared. In this process, sometimes I encountered harsh words, but as long as I used the Fa to constrain my thoughts, I was able to pass the tribulations. It was indeed very painful when I was letting go of the attachment to self. However, once this attachment was eliminated, it really felt like "after passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead." Then if I tried to put attention on myself, I found that it was gone, and I could not be attached to it anymore. Perhaps the substance was eliminated.
These are just my current understandings on letting go of the attachment to self and harmonizing the one-body. Actually on this path of cultivation and validating the Fa, we need Master's care on every step.
