Recognizing My Resentment

By practitioner Xiao Bo in China

(Clearwisdom.net) I shared with fellow practitioners my personal understanding on how to provide aliases for people who wish to quit the Chinese Communist Party. My fellow practitioners seemed to be in agreement, but yet, when one of the practitioners submitted a list of names, it was rejected due to my suggestions. When I was told about this, I was upset, and I thought to myself: "In the future, I will learn to submit the lists of names myself." I wanted to do that not because I wanted to alleviate troubles for others, but because I was upset with the other practitioner.

Why was I upset? Upon looking inward, I realized that I was attached to my own understanding and having others be in agreement with my understanding. When my understanding was challenged, instead of reflecting on myself to truly elevate on the Fa principles, I rejected the opportunity to improve.

This reminded me of another incident. At a coordinators' meeting, I made a suggestion which everyone approved and thought was a great idea. However, even after several rounds of discussions, it was not implemented. I became so upset and emotional that I even surprised myself. I was full of resentment.

Looking back, I was upset because my idea was not implemented and I was too attached to my own understanding and the approval and acceptance of others. My resentment came from my attachment to self, and self-validation. Why did I put so much emphasis on my own understanding and ways of doing things? The way to improve is to let go. Only when we can let go of our own points of view, look at things from others' perspectives, and try to understand and tolerate others, can we truly improve.
Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2008/7/10/181710.html

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