(Clearwisdom.net) Last month, I encountered an unexpected tribulation. When I was on my way to a city to visit some practitioners, I suddenly noticed that people were following me. I walked down a main street and then a small alley for a long time, yet the two young men followed me closely, so I kept on sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil. When I took a cab, they took a black car and continued to follow me closely. I changed cabs several times and went to different places in the city for several hours. However, the number of the vehicles following me increased from one to two, then three and finally to five. I realized the seriousness of the situation and thought they probably had some information about me and regarded me as an important target.
Seven or eight hours passed but they stuck to me tightly. I continuously sent forth righteous thoughts to reject the evil arrangements, but why didn't it work? I started to look inward. I was anxious to get rid of them. Sometimes I used human notions, such as getting the driver to go faster or running through the streets and over the skywalk to get rid of them. Most significant was having my sole notion of wanting to get rid of them. This reminded me of what Master said in "Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference,"
"An article published on the Minghui website described a student who told people the facts about Dafa and shouted 'Dafa is good' wherever she went. 'No matter where they take me, I'll ignore everything the vicious policemen say, and no matter how violently you beat me or how terribly you swear at me, I'll remain just as I am.' The labor camp was so scared that they sent her back in a hurry--'We don't want her.' It's because they figured, 'We won't be able to convert her, and on top of that she'll influence a large number of people.' (People laugh) And they won't be able to get a bonus, either. (Applause) They had no way to handle it--where could the local police station put her? They had no way to handle it, so they sent her home.
"That looks like human conduct, but in fact it's not. That was because she reached that point through cultivation and truly arrived at that realm--'Now that you've arrested me, I haven't thought at all about going back. Now that I've come here, I've come to validate the Fa.' So the evil was scared. Also, the number of evil beings is quite small now. The more we eliminate them the less of them there are."
When I first saw Master's article, I realized that when I was arrested by the evil in 2002, at the beginning I wholeheartedly wanted to leave, yet I wasn't able to escape. Only later when I gave up that notion and did the three things well was I able to leave using righteous thoughts. But now I still had this problem. I realized that behind my eagerness to get rid of the people following me was my "selfish" "self." While I thought I was "staying unaffected," I was actually worrying about being tracked down by the evil. This attachment allowed the evil to prevail. Cultivation is very serious, and Dafa disciples must meet the standard. It is not good enough to just feel like I have no fear. As a Dafa disciple, validating Dafa is the first priority. As disciples, we must safeguard Teacher's Fa under any circumstances and follow it in any situation. At every moment, I should do what Dafa disciples are supposed to do and eliminate the evil and offer salvation to all sentient beings. After my thinking reached this point I relaxed, and Master's recent teaching refreshed my mind continuously. Once that attachment was removed, the situation changed. The young men following me were the sentient beings I ought to save. They were counting on me, and I had no alternative but to offer them compassion. I wouldn't allow the evil to manipulate them into committing a crime out of ignorance. I ought to do well and stop their persecution attempts. By then my xinxing level was improving and the Fa principles were clear. It was not the same as the moment before. I also really realized the marvel of reciting the Fa. I memorized Master's articles as they were published. When my countless lives assimilated to the Fa, at critical moments, as long as I remembered that I was a Dafa disciple and handled things according to the Fa, I was able to remember the Fa and hold onto my righteous thought.
They were still following me. I realized that adjusting my mindset plus negating and eliminating the evil with righteous thoughts were not enough. Since the interference was so great, it must be taking advantage of my omission. Facing the tribulation, I ought to look inward and promptly corrected my own problem. This is also the main aspect of repudiating the evil persecution. In order to have more time to calm down, I took a taxi to another area. Three vehicles followed me closely. Besides clarifying the facts to the taxi driver, I calmly focused and looked inward. I saw my human notions, which was really painful. It was these attachments that had brought in the evil. My mind instantly became much clearer after sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil both inside and outside of myself. Through correcting myself, my mind became more tranquil and steadfast, and my eyes no longer stared at the rearview mirror to watch the vehicles following us. Instead I looked inward.
I remembered "Pacify the External by Cultivating the Internal" from Essentials for Further Advancement. Having purified myself, my brain became clearer, my belief in the Fa firmer. I ignored their existence. I felt that I was a genuine practitioner, and although I might still have some human notions or some unresolved issues, all of them could be resolved in the Fa. I didn't want to follow the evil arrangement. These negative elements were not acknowledged during Fa rectification. I believed they would soon disappear. I felt my mind becoming purer and purer, lighter and lighter. I knew that Master was taking care of me, expecting me to get rid of the attachment sooner, to be steadfast in righteous thoughts. Having seen that I had improved my xinxing, Master eliminated the evil in other dimensions. When I arrived in another area, the evil was no longer in control. Very soon I got rid of them.
After this incident, I put away my previous thinking pattern, reviewed my recent state, and analyzed my shortcomings from this process of breaking through the tribulation.
Failure to use the criteria of a cultivator to strictly conduct myself
When running across a tribulation, I was able to oppose it, to deny its persecution arrangement, to hold onto my xinxing, to achieve the state of no fear. But these were not the criteria of Dafa disciples. If from the beginning, I had been able to reach the higher xinxing level, it wouldn't have taken so many hours. Why did I still use human thoughts while dealing with these issues, and why couldn't I reach the standard immediately? Only after the situation became urgent would I start to be serious about it and could I then handle it according to the Fa. This also reflected on my cultivation state under normal circumstances. Most of the time, I was able to do well but wasn't able to do everything well every time. Just as Master said,
"Some students say with their lips, 'I reject the old forces' arrangements.' In key situations they can handle themselves quite well, but under normal circumstances they're likely to ease up their righteous thoughts, and when their righteous thoughts aren't adequate they're likely to have problems." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")
Failing to restrain oneself, failing to remember a Dafa disciple's responsibility and requirements at all times, or failing even slightly to pay attention causes one's level to drop. Dafa disciples are re-born with a brand-new life with Dafa. The portion that has completed cultivation must conform to the standards of the Fa. The remaining human notions have to be cultivated and assimilated to the Fa. The various unrighteous thoughts, ideas and notions are the part of me that has not yet assimilated to the Fa or were caused by postnatal karma and external evil interference. Behind these ideas and thoughts were lives that would either be saved or eliminated. Failing to rectify thoughts and notions is to neglect life, leaving an opening for the evil. The amount of time not spent cultivating, not being in the Fa, is a reflection of our human side that is within the evil's reach, which can lead to a tribulation. Why couldn't I break through the tribulation? It was because I didn't cultivate well under normal circumstances. I didn't have a high standard. The defect not seen during a normal situation is discovered during a critical situation. How one performs during a critical situation reveals how one has practiced daily. Before consummation, we will still have human notions, but we must conduct ourselves according to Master's instructions.
"You should try your best to restrain those everyday people's attachments, try your best to prevent them from having an effect, try your best to walk a righteous path, and try your best, in all circumstances and with everything that happens, and conduct yourself in an open and dignified manner, to be tolerant and broad-minded, to be able to understand others, and to be able to consider all perspectives. Then, I think you might be able to do a lot of things well." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
With a human notion, pursuing an outcome
My attachment was the desire to get rid of those following me. I noticed it was a human thought, the notion of self -preservation. Though it was much better than before, it still reflected my human behavior: if you are trying to catch me, I will run away; if you are following me, I will try to lose you. Therefore my thoughts were passively trapped at the level of human thought. How could I get rid of the evil? All of this was beyond the normal, human level. This attempt to succeed can easily introduce the mentality of doing things. Pursuing the outcome, the surface of the matter thus neglected our true purpose in life in the process. It was due to this kind of mentality that I had loaded myself down recently. My time became very tight and I even shortened the time for Fa study. Usually I paid quite a lot of attention to Fa study. It was due initially to some external factors and also influence from other practitioners. How could they have had such an impact on me? Didn't I make my own decisions? Where did one's own opinion come from? It comes from the Fa. Because of the lack of Fa study, the undiscovered hidden human notions emerged. Worrying about not being able to keep up with the progress of the Fa rectification, worrying about not conforming to the Fa, worrying about "self" being left behind, it was those notions that caused me to take on more things and also made me feel that this reflected a diligent status. I was even unable to calm my mind down in Fa study, and thus I got into a vicious cycle. At that time I wasn't able to realize this and actually felt very righteous. Because there were many righteous elements, it wasn't easy to identify the small portion of human notions mixed in. I didn't notice that my Fa study time was also reduced bit by bit and that gradually it would cause a problem. No matter how diligent one might have been previously, one can't pass the test if one fails to meet the requirement. Cultivation is very serious, and we cannot afford to be careless.
