(Clearwisdom.net) I consider myself extremely fortunate to have become a Falun Dafa practitioner and to assist Teacher in Fa-rectification.
When I first read "I think that those who can listen to my lectures in person, I would say, honestly...you will realize in the future that this period of time is extremely precious, "Zhuan Falun, I did not think the sentence carried any special meaning. But the more I studied the Fa, the more I understood its significance and the intended meaning. It appears that Teacher does not explain in exact terms the true significance of being a practitioner and hearing the Fa during this present historical period; I think it is impossible to express it using human language.
I have encountered many tribulations in the past eleven years of cultivation. Benevolent Teacher has always protected us, patiently and painstakingly guided us, one step at a time, up to the present day, as we establish our mighty virtue and become the future enlightened beings.
Follow the process of Fa-Rectification and do not slack off
When the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began to persecute Falun Gong on July 20, 1999, I knew it was not right. Therefore, I did not believe in its false propaganda against Falun Gong. However, I did not know how to tell people that we were innocent. Other than practicing the exercises and studying the Fa on a daily basis, I distributed truth clarification fliers about Falun Gong and the persecution. Each time, I handed out about one to two hundred fliers. Even though there was no Fa study group in my area, I consistently studied the Fa.
My attachment to fear lessened as I continued to study. Whether I distributed informational materials by myself or with other practitioners, I was not afraid even when it was late in the evening. I did not run into any problem when I handed out fliers or when I hung posters and scrolls. At that time, I especially liked hanging scrolls. Each of them was about one meter long with a thread that was twenty centimeters long. I wrapped a rock in a piece of cloth, then tied it with thread. Then I rolled the scroll, threw it over the electric wire, and it was hung.
Teacher has told us to study the Fa more. All these years, I followed Teacher's instruction even though I did not really understand what studying the Fa more meant. I learned later that our righteous thoughts are stronger when we study the Fa more.
Since July 20, 1999, every day, a policeman from the local public security bureau came to my house to monitor me. He called when he did not feel like coming. Later, they sent a policeman from a local police station to monitor me once every few days. I took it with a grain of salt, and told them the benefits of practicing Falun Dafa every time they showed up. And they replied, "It's fine as long as you practice at home and not outside. Someday, its good reputation will be restored. This is how things are in China."
In 2002, practitioners intercepted a TV signal to expose the persecution in Changchun City, which frightened the then-premiere of China, Jiang Zemin. Thus, he ordered the police to "kill them without mercy." This affected our area and many practitioners were illegally arrested. The police asked me to go to the public security bureau. They questioned me all night and did not allow me to sleep. My answers to their questions were: "I don't know, and I don't admit that I did anything wrong." I continued to send forth righteous thoughts. Seeing that they could not get anything out of me, they detained me, and released me on the fourteenth day. I continuously sent righteous thoughts during my detention. Ever since then, I firmly believed that our righteous thoughts are stronger when we study the Fa more.
After the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published, I began to help print the book at the informational materials site. We worked past midnight when things were busy, but I did not feel tired at all. Although I was busy, I did not forget to study the Fa. When I did not have time to study the Fa or do the exercises, I made up for it somehow. As time went by, I became very busy with Dafa projects and neglected to study Teacher's lectures. I only read Zhuan Falun when I was busy, and at times, I could not concentrate and read as if I was merely performing a task. Subsequently, my attachments appeared and I was not getting along with my husband, and was not able to pass xinxing tests amidst conflicts. After searching inward, I noticed that because I was not studying Teacher's lectures as much, my righteous thoughts were weak and I was unable to keep up with the process of Fa-rectification. The Fa-rectification process is moving forward, time is speeding up, and our mission and duty are propelling us to quickly save sentient beings; therefore, we cannot ignore the importance of Fa study.
Studying the Fa as a group helps raise our level as one body
In 2006, we resumed our Fa study group. We made many mistakes reading together. Sometimes we read the characters incorrectly, other times we added or deleted characters as we read. We did not notice the mistakes when we read by ourselves at home, then why did we make mistakes when we read together? This made us realize the importance of studying the Fa as a group. Some practitioners have developed the habit of adding characters when they read. This is the Fa, so how could we add or skip characters so casually? We shared and decided that we should study the Fa with a serious attitude. We should listen to each other and re-read the sentence when we make a mistake. Things have improved since then. Whenever someone is having a xinxing issue or problem at home, he cannot have a calm mind and is bound to make mistakes during Fa study.
We search inward after we finish studying the Fa. Our Fa study group has done well in this regard. No one gets upset when being criticized and we welcome others' criticism. We expose our shortcomings and do not hide them, and do not feel good if we do not talk about it. Since we all know that Teacher is aware of our attachments even if we don't talk about them, it is better to expose them and eliminate them, thus raising our xinxing level.
Recently, Teacher has given many lectures, and I sense that the Fa-rectification process cannot be slowed down. Our personal cultivation needs to catch up as we validate the Fa. At the same time, we need to help practitioners who are lagging behind. Whenever I rushed, my tone of voice and attitude were harsh, and this was hard for others to take. Thus, many practitioners did not dare to come to my house. I became impatient and wanted to talk to practitioners when I noticed they were not being diligent. Other practitioners said that I lacked compassion and my tone of voice was not kind. Sometimes I used the excuse that what I did was for their own good. Teacher pointed out my shortcomings a few times: I continued to develop mouth sores and sometimes I bit my tongue. The sores could not be healed after two weeks and I became impatient. Teacher saw this and pointed out my shortcomings to me again.
One day, as I was reading "Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference," a question seemed to have targeted my attachment.
"Question: It seems that some fellow practitioners in our area still don't understand the Fa-rectification. Their understanding in other regards isn't that good, either. How can I help them improve?
Teacher: Nothing can be forced. Whether a person wants to cultivate is all up to him. We can only advise him to do what's good, and can only try our best to remind them, tell them about certain things, and explain the principles to them clearly. Coercion doesn't work. When you've made your points, maybe it will be resolved, or maybe the person has attachments."
This passage helped me see my attachment, and when I let go of it, my state of mind changed as well.
These are my cultivation experiences during the previous eleven years. I still have many shortcomings to eliminate, especially the attachment to jealousy, lust and competitiveness. After experiencing so many tribulations, I was able to come this far with the patient help of practitioners and their constant guidance based on the Fa principles.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank the practitioners who have helped me, and even more so, Teacher's benevolent salvation.
December 4, 2009
